Fight sexual harassment the whole year round

For unknown reasons, our most famous festival, Songkran, frequently serves as an occasion on which to address social problems that have been waiting in the wings, so to speak.

In the recent past the authorities have expressed concern over young women donning spaghetti-strap tops during the water-splashing festival, for fear it will provoke unseemly male behaviour (this at a time when the sleeveless top has virtually become a uniform among teenagers). This year we learn that Thai women are quite aware they may be subjected to sexual harassment during the festival, although not for the reasons cited by the authorities.

Even as the government was focusing on security issues during the festival, Thai women expressed long-time worries about sexual harassment. Nearly 43 per cent of almost 3,000 respondents told a survey conducted by Assumption University that it was their top concern during Songkran. Fear of terrorism ranked only third. It should come as no surprise to anyone that women are speaking out on this issue. Thai society has been exceptionally tolerant of this form of discrimination. And it’s not only during Songkran that we should be voicing our concern.

Sexual harassment occurs in a variety of circumstances, both overtly and covertly. It happens to women almost every day, on the street, at school, in the workplace. Perhaps it’s time for both men and women to address this social problem without waiting for this big holiday.

In fact the effects of the physical contact that takes place when people splash water on each other are quite small compared with a superior who harasses you at your university or office and wields his power over you for his own perverse satisfaction.

The majority of victims quietly put up with such boors, hoping they’ll soon stop. They fear retaliation in the form of bad grades or promotion being withheld. There are a few brave ladies who complain about their superior, but they stand little chance of bringing the offender to book or winning damages. Unsurprisingly, in Thailand, most victims end up resigning from work or dropping out of school.

The really sad part about sexual harassment, though, is not that the victims cannot win, but rather that many women out there blame themselves for their plight. They also fear that others will blame them. We’ve heard it before: a woman is physically harassed, and her first reaction is to say she was too naive, or she didn’t try her best to protect herself. In the worst-case scenario, the harasser says the woman seduced him.

“Don’t just hope it will stop” is the very first thing every woman who is being victimised ought to remember. I have also found useful tips on various websites that deal with sexual harassment in the workplace. They say you should allow yourself to get angry and use the energy of your anger to help you focus and take action. They also stress that you let the harasser know.

However, all this works only if you want it to. Few Thai women dare to address unwanted attention or offensive behaviour clearly and directly.

To be fair, some Thai men are naive themselves when it comes to harassment, touching your shoulder while speaking without knowing it makes you uncomfortable or telling dirty jokes that offend you. This type of harasser doesn’t realise the effects of such behaviour on others. It often helps if we try to educate these men.

Overt sexual harassment is only the tip of the iceberg. Thai women also face problems from being stereotyped. In Thailand, a woman who has friends of the opposite sex is often referred to as raet (“loose” or “unprincipled”). But if she stays single and shows little interest in having a relationship, she is branded as kheunkhaan (“on the shelf”). There are many such age-old labels. Neither the authorities nor some NGO championing women’s rights can make them all disappear by waving a magic wand.

If you want to avoid a traffic accident, you drive carefully every day, not only during Songkran. Similarly, don’t wait for a special day or occasion to voice concern. There are 362 other days in the year on which you can do it just as effectively. To break free of sexual discrimination, start with yourself. Make your feelings known to the men around you. Informing them that certain behaviour is not welcome would be a constructive step.

Sitting and hoping that you won’t be the victim of harassment is rather like parking your car on the road during the Songkran holidays and praying that no drunk driver will come and smash into it.

Published on Apr 16, 2005

Ladies: You can't keep a good name down

Women - married and single - welcome the very positive step toward the enjoyment of their rights following the landmark verdict of the Constitution Court on Article 12 of the 40-year-old Name Act. The decision gives women their freedom to keep their surnames or to change them to their husbands'.

This marks a significant step for married women in lifting legal discrimination in Thai law. Now women have become equal to men before the law, as stated by the Constitution, and can enjoy equal rights to men when it comes to the matter of their family name.

Let's look at the choices provided after the announcement of the court's ruling. Imagine a lady goes for marriage registration at a district office today, what's on offer?

First, a married woman can keep her last name with the title of Mrs. Secondly, she can also bear her family name as a middle name or, thirdly, she can change to her husband's family name, if she so chooses. Not to mention the option of a woman who prefers living together with a man without any legal obligation and turns down the choice of marriage.

But can we simply conclude that married women are emancipated now? As we all know, there are two different sides of the coin between de jure and de facto.

Whether they like it or not, most women will still be obliged to follow the tradition that they give respect to the husband and his parents by bearing their last name once she is married. We Thai people believe a woman marries a man with full understanding of the unstated norm that she become part of the man's family.

Such a social norm is quite close to the family concept of the Chinese in that a woman is considered the property to her husband's family after marriage.

However the legal norm of the early Rattanakosin period during the reign of King Rama IV (1851-1868) showed that Thais also considered women as the property of parents or husbands.

The King considered the problem and, in 1867, he prohibited men from selling their wives without their consent and parents from selling or forcing their daughters to marry against their will. Although this practice no longer exists, a married woman is still considered part of a husband's family rather than her own.

Any woman who declines to abide by that "value" of Thai society and insists on using her maiden family name will have to find some very good reasons. She will have to address what are the benefits of keeping her family name.

Legal experts and women right's advocates cite one reason women want to keep their family names is because they want to maintain their personal identities.

Associate Professor Vimolsiri Chamnarnvej was quoted by the media as saying that some women are robbed of real economic opportunities when they change their names. That is the reason why many businesswomen keep their former last name as the middle name, like Khunying Natthika Wattanavekin Angubolkul.

In politics, someone like Anchalee Vanich Tepabutr sees changing her surname as an obstacle to her political career. Her family name "Vanich" is well known and influential in her constituency and the surname is an important factor in winning an election.

In showbiz, actresses also prefer to keep their maiden names after getting married, making it easier for them to maintain their popularity.

Interestingly, there are women who are more than willing to let go of their surnames when they marry someone from a very prestigious or influential family. Remember the case of Jutharat Attakorn (widely known as Mor [doctor] Oy)? She refused to use her own family name after her divorce despite the disapproval of her ex-husband's family.

Jutharat's case helps strengthen the argument that social status (involving economic and political factors) are taken into consideration when a lady decides whether or not to give up her maiden name. It's a power relationship and a woman will have to weigh the advantages and disadvantages of keeping her old name or introducing herself as a new member of her husband's family under his last name.

Yet the significance of this emancipation from the Name Act is that from now on women can enjoy the freedom of choice, by law.

They can weigh their personal desires, commercial reasons, social status or whatever other factors arise - and make a decision. For men, there is nothing to lose by complying with the law. After all, it is love and understanding that maintains family ties, not the family's name.

As for women who plan to tie the knot in the future, you can discuss the use of a family name before the marriage. You can ask for your future husband's consent to keep your family name. But if your man says you must use his surname, you still have two options: marry him or find a better man.

Published on Jun 7, 2003